Mythological Greek Phoenix
— by Wes Flinn RPT
►This section is provided to put to rest the question:
Does your piano sound better when it is tuned in Spanish?
►[ Explanation: This little article is a spoof on pianos from Europe, where
contests for pianos are held everywhere, all the time! ]
I have customer who is from Cuba. (One of my activities over time was teaching English and Spanish as Second Languages commercially or in Public Schools) She enjoys speaking with me in Spanish when I am there to tune her piano. It gives her a chance to use her Spanish, and to put me down for the little infractions I add to Spanish. She claims that there is no question but her piano is “livelier” when we tune it in Spanish. She has named her piano “Señor Petrof”, who, she says, prefers tunings in Spanish, and who plays anything — Bach, Beethoven, Elton John, whatever — like Tangos and Sambas as long as he gets his tuning in Spanish.
Petrof 51″ – “Señor Petrof”
FatCat Daddy, Judge FatCat’s owner
►Well, I discovered that no matter how true, this subject seemed to be controversial. It was determined that we needed a hearing to make a judgment on the matter. Due to the importance of the decision, we had to arrange for the most qualified authority to judge this issue. After an international search, Judge FatCat was booked for the job, along with his owner, FatCat Daddy, also known for his authority on any kind of spotty issues. Daddy also agreed to fill in for Judge FatCat if the hearing should occur during mealtimes, which occur roughly 19 times daily for Judge FatCat — although Judge FatCat is an authority on all things Spanish, especially food, he informed us in advance that he never allowed legal matters of any kind to interfere with mealtimes. He assured us that Daddy and his trainer could muscle their way to a decision any time he was not available in person.
Fazioli – “M.Limina”
►We are currently looking for qualified jury panel members, whose only qualifications are liking Mexican or Cuban or Spanish or Portuguese food and music — what group could judge better than these, especially after a few Coronas? The pianos will be 5 of the world’s most exotic models which can play tunings in Spanish or Historical or Hysterical or anything else you have in mind. Everyone participating are “winners” and will bash afterwards at the eatery of choice to bash the verdict and further perpetuate the controversy of “Tunings in Spanish — ¿ Sí o No?” Anyone courageous enough to play for the event gets free food and drinks (except Judge FatCat, who will be limited by contract to eating only 3 times during the party). If your Spanish is a little rusty, here is a link to get you up to speed – go to the best self-help Spanish website available right now, called “Rosetta Stone” – click below:
Fazioli – “Marco Polo”
[ Here are some facts to leaven the levity: “FatCat” is the cat’s real name — he was in the news recently as lost, rescued, unclaimed, then adopted; and in true character of a cat was totally casual about the whole thing. Now, although a stretch to believe, “FatCat Daddy” is also a real name according to the news media — this picture was taken of an Afghanistan body builder trying to draw attention to sports and other good things happening in his country besides the ugly and ongoing warfare. The makeup etc. was in preparation for a bodybuilding contest, which we know he strong-armed ! ]
Schimmel – “Pegasus”
Schimmel – “Otmar Alt”